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[One of the biggest problems with research into her major projects at home is that simply saying what she's after is a gamble. The chances aren't slim that she'd be discouraged or outright denied help by virtue of what she asks being thought absolutely impossible, or too close to revealing a Warden secret, or borderline heretical. The Seven-Fold City has been the best place she's found to study, lacking any of these issues.

She's done as well as she could here, but now her problem is she can't readily make sense of new ideas without the framework of her home. She needs new input. Fresh, entirely unprecedented angles on the matter. And what better place than here, which barely seems to have even heard of Thedas?

She pans the camera deliberately over stacks of books on a table to show off her research. The volumes are from Tomorrow and Sorcery both, with a couple of field guides from Adventure thrown in, tomes on magic and medicinal marvels.]

All of this, and it's worth so little. [She turns the device around to show her face. She's well-rested, as opposed to the last time she'd contacted the network while binge-studying. There's no brightness this time, no spark of curiosity in her eyes. Instead, her expression one of inerrant focus. She's on a mission, but it weighs on her.] I need perspective. New ones. I was wondering if you all could help me. I'm working on two projects right now, and...I need some outsider's insight.

The first project is...well, it's hard to describe, but there's a slow-acting poison in my world. It can be treated to act even slower, but not nullified. It's less like a spider's venom and more magical, but...well, I'm trying to cure it. If anyone has any knowledge of magical illnesses, forces of corruption, or...oh, anything you think might be relevant, I'd like you to share it. It's, um... [She glances at the books offscreen.] ...bloodborne, if that's useful.

[She seats herself at the table the books are stacked on, her staff clinking lightly as she props it up against the stone wall beside her. The crescent moon tip catches the firelight of a torch nearby, glimmering gold.]

The second is much easier to explain, but, I'm worried its relevance is limited to magic. In my world, demonic and spiritual possession can only be cured by gathering the right amount of mages and materials, and having enough time to kill or drive off the demon in its own realm. Otherwise, the only way is to kill the possessed.

So tell me about possession in your world, and the ways you have to cure it. Maybe something will be useful for my world, too.

[She shifts her weight a little, glancing down as if self-conscious. The click of claws on stone approaches and a dog's whine comes from offscreen. She reaches out of frame to pet the animal, her voice taking on a slower, graver tone.]

I know this sounds like a lot. It is a lot. But I need to do this, I need to succeed. There are innocent lives depending on it. I'd appreciate any help you can give.

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That is a truth, in some sense of it. [He closes his eyes.] All the fear that is felt by those around me, I feel. All the daymares dreamt by those in presence me, I see. I know what everyone mother fuckin fears. It is all there as if it were mine. With the holy fear, I can understand, I can speak, I can guide. If there is fear upon it, I can make it mine.

[He shudders then shakes his head. He breathes in real deep, and exhales. A self-soothing act.]

This gift is a form of psionics, born into all of the indigo, the blood of the family. Kept safe within this nug, it is always a part of mine own. For me, it is the same as seeing and breathing, I need only focus, and practice to improve.

I haven't awareness if it will work upon the demons, but should I find the ability, it is possible I can make them fear keeping within the host. All it shall mean is a grand skull-bound ache and a lot of daymares for me, but I already got a lot of those. [He smiles, looking tired even despite the paint.]

Uh, generally I put my hand on their skin.

Kind of a personal talent.

I don't suppose a spell delivered that way is too strange. We use our hands in all of our spells, too, but not so directly.

In what ways can you manipulate life energy?

[Because that didn't answer her question and now she's curious.]

[Aside from the momentary bizarreness of the double-take at "nug" (which is a harmless creature in her world), that's...a horrifying concept.]

As useful as it could be, that sounds more like a curse - I can't imagine growing up with something like that.

[If there was a reaction he was anticipating, the sudden sympathy wasn't it. It catches him, brings him to blinking. Then, just as sudden a quiet laugh slips from him and his palms press together.]

It is only a curse if one is unable to find beauty in the brightness, to find peace within an eternally resting being. [He plasters his proper smile back on and speaks less like he's reciting.] I feel everyone around me, alive, souls beaming beautiful, and I am never alone. I see all them secrets we keep aren't so bad as we think. With the knowing of their fears, I may keep them safe, or I can help them absolve it. I may taste the adrenaline of their joy once they do, just before their fear fades from reach. That ain't a curse, sister. That's a mother fuckin miracle. The day my eyes were opened to this truth was of the best I ever had. I wish for all to find their peace, including you, and all the people of sevenfold here.

The daymares, all the while, are soothed through prayer, a kickass moirail, a purrfect matesprit, and the use of the dankest of nip.

Thusly I say, sister; would you like to chase out the demons?

It was...a report of a report, actually.

[She gently shoves her dog's shoulder.] Get down now, Thunder, I need to get into my pouch.

[Thunder listens, and she digs into a hip pouch offscreen, producing a folded-up piece of paper. It isn't like she has to refresh her memory (she doesn't unfold it yet, in fact), but talking about it...it feels like she has to have it in her hand.]

You were part of a group of Wardens who had gone to address signs of darkspawn activity, and were returning. Your group made camp at the same place as a delivery from the Circle - magic supplies, runes, potions, and enchantment services, as a favor from my friend Sandal. You were...ill, or something? [The uncertainty breaks the more official tone she's taken.]

The report came from their camp, and they didn't know the details. I, um...doubt it was just illness, given the rest.

[Here, she unfolds the paper, runs her thumb over a part of the bottom. Her eyes are looking through it, ever working through its puzzle.]

Some of the Wardens in your group had once been templars, and one of the templars escorting the Circle group was a friend of the one who had been watching your condition. They were talking in the entrance to the tent they were keeping you in, and...

There was a light. A bright blue light, and a surge of magic. I can only imagine they made some disparaging comment about mages, or-... Or worse, speculated on what had happened to you - and what they would do about it.

The report only exists because a Tranquil who had been enchanting the last pieces of equipment for us ran for her life.

[She pauses for a moment, to let that sink in.]

...Garevel didn't see at first how strange that was. Doesn't it sound like a normal reaction? To run? So he didn't question it for her to answer, and I wish he had. I don't understand it, either, but-

He sent some of the guard to the location...and they found a massacre.

[She should pause here, let him react. Defend himself. Clarify some of this, any of this. But she's caught up in the heart-stopping disbelief of the moment she'd first read it, leading to the frantic nonstop flight on dozens of insect wings to see it for herself, to the fear closing her throat as she examined the wounds and ruled out the damage caused by scavengers after the fact... Her voice starts breaking in spots as she continues, unable to bring herself to stop until she's told the whole story:]

Thankfully, I- I was only two days away on foot, myself, bringing supplies to Avernus, so- so since I could shapeshift and fly I could see before they burned the bodies-... Scavengers had eaten some already but-... [When her voice breaks this time, it's a sob. She restrains herself, but it's already happened.] But...

[The camera is shaking - so are her hands. Thunder whimpers off-camera.]

What was it, Anders? Hunger? [Her voice is a sorrowful, fearful whisper on the tail of remembered emotion. A good chunk of time had passed since then, and the fact that this Anders was, somehow, under someone else's command, has escaped her thoughts. He was here. Himself. He'd managed to regain control and recounting the report of what had happened was enough to drive it home, wrapping up relief and all the pain of relating it into a confusing tangle of emotion.]

[There's certainly no doubt left in his mind that this is either the Commander or some... different version of her, somehow, in all of this mixed up mess. Her knowledge is too vast and her reaction too genuine to be that of a pretender. It's almost otherworldly, listening to her speak about it, like he's watching someone else's life unfold rather than being told his own history, but at the same time, it stirs up the memories he much rather would've forgotten. The anger and hate and Maker, the blood, the torn flesh and the taste of iron on his tongue --

It's all he can do to keep himself from vomiting or devolving into tears as well. There's a tremble in his arms just the same and he forces himself to sit down so his legs don't give out from under him.

He can't so much as look her, this stranger who's so painfully familiar, in the eye, even through the screen. His eyes close and his head gives a couple of slow shakes as he clutches desperately at any sense of stability inside him.]

No. It was... It is Justice. [Or maybe "was" would be more accurate. He swallows down bile and regret and more hate, again remembering blood, but fresher. Innocent blood.

His head shakes again.]

We wanted to help. To fix the Circle. But -- you must understand. It isn't his fault. There was something inside me, Commander, [The title slips, and he either doesn't notice or doesn't bother correcting himself] before he joined me, and it... hurt him. I hurt him.

[And she's trying to live up to the image of that rank, to live up to being a leader and that means being steady and stable and not just barely holding tears back. It had been a problem throughout the Blight, this need she felt to let people see her afraid or upset as little as possible. Apparently, things don't really change so readily.

She watches him sit down, keep his gaze off the camera.

And then he names his possessor. If anything dries her tears, it's numb shock.]

Justice... He didn't make it back across the Veil.

[She hadn't noticed. She, a spirit healer, reaching out to the Fade to heal the wounded from the battle at Vigil's Keep, hadn't noticed the free spirit trapped on the wrong side of the Veil.

The problem with having shouldered so many problems for so many people is it's become too easy to blame herself for every problem. If she and Anders had been friends in the Circle instead of barely knowing each other, would things have been better? If she had noticed Justice, would things have been better?]

...That sounds familiar, that idea. Voluntary possession. [It comes to her, she remembers the voices behind her as they traveled the road between Vigil's Keep and Amaranthine, and remembering it solely for how interesting an idea it had seemed at the time. So much for that.] Nathaniel, he suggested it to Justice. I'm not surprised he took it up with you.

[She swallows the lump rising in her throat again. What now? It's not as simple as just finding a way to drive out a demon with timelier preparation anymore. This isn't anything like Amalia's case. Both host and possessor are her friends, and it was never a matter of regaining control because the intent to take it away had never been there.]

I don't know what to say. Except- I don't think it's your fault, either. Whatever happened to you that day, I don't believe for a single moment either of you wanted it.

No. How could he? And I couldn't leave our friend hopping from one corpse to the next for eternity. [Though there'll be nothing stopping him once Anders bites it. But that isn't something he really wants to think about on top of everything else, and from the uncomfortable prick in the back of his mind, he'd wager Justice doesn't like the idea, either.

Anders knew about their talks. He knew then, and he rolled his eyes. Just as he rolled his eyes when Justice insisted he take up arms.

If only he'd continued to be selfish.]

It doesn't matter what we wanted. This thing that we are now... should not exist. [It hurts him to admit it, and the strain of it is clear in his voice. Truly, Anders loves Justice, and believes in his quest, but that makes it so much worse rather than better. It's his fault the spirit has become so confused. If Justice can't do right, who can?]

I'm sorry to bring you this news. I wish I could tell you your friends are happy and safe.

[She'd had some hope when she didn't see him. That maybe the Veil had weakened just enough, just long enough, during the battle... But no. He had probably already attempted to follow Anders, or perhaps gone to Nathaniel, or had gotten lost somewhere else trying to find a host body that wasn't crushed or otherwise unusable...

...But that was in the past, and as much as she might kick herself for not being able to help, here's her friend, here's two of her friends, essentially, and what he's saying...

She lets out a soft huff that might have been a protest but lost its power in sympathy. She gives him a pained smile.]

But you're alive. Alive, and still human. I'd been hoping for at least that much. It means that I can try to help you.

[Human. He almost laughs at the suggestion, just barely restrains himself, but can't prevent a bitter smile.]

Far be it from me to disappoint you more, but you can't help me. That isn't a stab at you, either, I'm just... too far beyond help. Every day is a struggle for control. Sometimes I can't even discern a friend from a foe, a mage from a templar. [His face falls again, and for a moment he almost scowls down into his lap. Even if he and Justice could be separated, even if they wanted to be, it wouldn't change the things they've done together.]

You should focus your efforts on people who can still be saved. Who want to be.

[She still doesn't like the idea of a kid growing up like this. At least Grey Wardens lived lives free of their nightmares until they underwent the Joining. But all the same...]

That's an admirable way to use it. I-...

[Can she ask a boy to do this? Can she put so much in a child's hands?]

...If it won't hurt you, I'd be glad to try.

[He lets out a loud and sudden whoop of joy.]

How mother fuckin beautiful the miracle, to be able to help a friend! Soon we shall save a life as well!

[Assuming this all will work.

He doesn't know if this will hurt but he has never had anything worse than a headache and his aren't even close to that of Mituna's. He can't imagine anything could happen that would actually be worth mentioning when it could deter their new mission.]

Let the Lady guide us in granting this great mercy, and the Lord keep us standing tall! Praise to thee, oh Messiahs! And thanks to thee as well, Sister Katherine, for thy faith in this humble husk.

[The sympathy in her voice doesn't leave, but there's something solid beneath it, a firm tone of unwavering resolve.]

Anders. [She gestures back at the books behind her.]

My research here? To prevent our Warden's taint from progressing. Easier separation of a demon and its victim. Do you think "you can't" means anything to me anymore? It's been implied in everything Wardens and mages have said and done for ages on end.

And anyway... [The pain in her smile fades into something warmer, tension leaving the edges of her mouth.]

You're my friend. Some things don't quite match up between us, but you are still the Anders I knew. With the Justice I knew. I won't let go that easily.

[Anders has to wonder how long this Amell has been here, or at least had access to it. That is an impressive library, and a noble cause for it. Of course he would love to see an end to the threat of the taint, and countless lives would certainly be saved if possession wasn't so permanent, but he still can't quite admire her perseverance. Perhaps if it was directed into someone specific that wasn't a lost cause, it would be a different story.

As it stands, regardless of how alike he was to the Anders she speaks of, one thing is certain.]

You're wrong. We've both changed, and neither for the better.

And that's why abandoning you would make me a terrible friend. It would be a different matter if you had killed those people of your own volition. But neither of you deliberately chose this!

[She shakes her head, slowly, opens her mouth to continue a few times, though nothing comes out. Tears threaten to fall again, but this time she manages to blink them back. The initial possession had been sooner for Katherine than Anders, and she'd had a recent reminder of him, at that, in her search for Morrigan. A child's doodle in the back of a book, an expression of pain she didn't understand and quickly forgot in her earlier years, but saw with awful clarity now. He had hurt so much back then, and hearing him hurting still, worse so, now...

She finally finds her voice in the past, saying something she'd told him once before. Something she hoped this Robyn would have said, too:]

Friends stick up for each other. You can't expect me to turn my back on you.

Edited (streamlining dialogue) 2016-12-08 02:34 (UTC)

[Again being the cause of great upset is sobering enough to take the fight out of him, just as her words threaten to take his breath. Hearing that, in that voice, again, is almost enough to break him down, too. Of course he's missed Robyn -- assuming he isn't completely out of his mind and she does actually exist -- but all the lies he's told himself in Kirkwall about hating the Wardens have made him forget exactly how much.

He didn't understand then why she thought he deserved her friendship, and he certainly doesn't understand why Katherine, of whom he has no memories, does. But nonetheless, he's moved, and grateful.]

No... I suppose I can't.

I'm sorry for being so difficult. [It goes without saying that he's afraid; she's clever enough to see that. He almost wishes she knew exactly why, but at the same time, he doesn't want to tell her, at least not yet. Who knows the limits of her loyalty? He isn't someone he would continue to support in her position.]

Where are you going from here, then? Do you have any sort of plan on how to go about this?

I'll register you as one of my emergency contacts, so if I encounter one, I can call you to them.

[As she looks down to do just that, though:]

Does everyone in your religion call themselves a "husk"?

Haha, naw. Our argot has us calling all to be Brothers, Sisters, Homies, and Motherfucking Ninjas. To stick specific to us, we consider our selves indigo, blood of the family. It is simply fondness for phrasing I speak so. I am young and small yet, little in the grand scheme of all. Husk as my body and body hosting power, you have faith in me. Fear mother fuckin not, for my people are well and truly alive as I know them to be. Honk.

[She shakes her head at the apology.] It's all right. I understand.

[Pain can make a person difficult. It made her difficult for several days after being conscripted into the Wardens. She's already forgiven him a great deal, considering the mess he left behind. Why should she stop here just because he's under stress? Anyone in his situation would be.

When he asks his question, then, she regards the device with tired eyes that nonetheless still hold the warmth of sympathy that had crept into her smile before. All of these plans, a foundation of her one success in this field. And nothing was as it seemed. It's scarcely related to the project in question at all.]

I don't know. It's not what I thought it was. The only time I've seen a possession end without death, the demon was banished from within the Fade. But Justice isn't linked to the Fade in the first place. And it was voluntary. That-...it changes a lot. It changes everything. Where I go, well, that depends on the two of you. I've-

[done quite enough trampling on others' say in their own bodies. Like she could say that. It hurts to even involuntarily admit it to herself in such plain words. When she finishes her sentence, some of the vitality has been drained from it; there is a strain to it, rooted deep, but quiet.]

...no intention of ignoring your wishes. Either of you. I want to know what you have to say first. I know that you don't like the way things are right now. Who would? But what would be your ideal solution to all of this? What do you want it to be?

Edited 2016-12-10 23:57 (UTC)

A lot of them. It's one of my primary abilities.

[ ...which is why he doesn't want to talk about it. How does he end up doing things like this? ]

An empty vessel waiting to be filled... I think I can understand that.

[It's too humble, but not alarming, as far as she's concerned. With that and the matter of aid on the way, she finds herself wanting to know more about Kurloz's religion again, and wondering if they all talk the way he does.]

Our own religion calls its members brothers and sisters as well, but I've never heard of the other two. What's the distinction?

Church, sister.

[She totally gets it. And blesses him with more opportunity to discuss this goodness!]

The intricacy of the Carnival's greetings proves difficult to elaborate. You see, all are brothers and sisters through the mother's blood, but our brothers and sister of the carnival tend for indigo. Thusly one may scry that all are brother and sister, whilst some prove more brother and sister to our own than others. This then extends to my main motherfuckers dubbed to be ninjas and ninjettes. By fullest truth, my ninjas come of Carnival alone, but I do take delight in use worthy of conjecture. Homies prove easy; that is they whom spark greatest feeling within thine bones. Thy mother fuckin friends, allies, and compatriots.

Edited 2016-12-14 03:06 (UTC)

[...Maybe that's like asking a mage how they can manipulate reality. There's nowhere to start. She'll drop that for now.]

I may not have a possessed host to try it on for some time, but I can contact you when I need you for it. Unless this ritual can be used by anyone?

And will your friend need anything other than the sample?

[That's an interesting comment, one he makes a note to bring up again later, perhaps at a less emotionally taxing time for the both of them. Even now, Anders has to breathe deeply and gather his thoughts in order to be coherent.

The past few days have not been easy.]

I appreciate your consideration. But... I can't say that I know exactly what I want. [For a moment, he falls silent again, worrying his lip as he frowns at some imaginary point offscreen.] I suppose the ideal would be to find a way to... blend better. I don't know that I want to be separated, but we can't go on at each others' throats like we have been.

That isn't really what you're looking for, though, is it?

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Video | CALL Network | un: wardenka

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