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calling_net2016-05-18 04:14 pm
unnamed_chars) wrote in calling_net2016-05-18 04:14 pm
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WSFC - Broadcast 0002 - May 18th
[ The speakers voice is slow and droning; either he's an exceptionally boring individual or he's just about halfway awake. Either way, Eeyore would probably deliver the news with more vim and vigor... ]
Hello, listeners. This is [ static ] here with WSFC News, broadcasting from [ yawn ] the Satellite. If it's happening, WSFC is... probably there? I mean, we try but have you seen this place? It's HUGE.
Plans for the St. Vidicon STEM fair continue, of course, but according to this, there's been a couple of incidents near the school. More specifically, some gasses appear to be leaking out of one of the buildings. Reports note that anyone who breathes in these fumes seem to be gaining strange and interesting abilities for roughly an hour. The reporter noted that the pink one smells like strawberry and then turned into a ficus plant so... take that with a grain of salt.
A minor war has broken out in Shadows over the last few nights. The gang members don't appear to be engaging in vandalism or theft, but more than a few innocents have been caught in the cross fire. Authorities in Shadows are currently attempting to mediate the dispute, but they caution people from traveling alone through the City. Then again, it's Shadows. Who's that stupid anyway?
Apparently the stars have aligned in Nightmare which is... good? Bad? Apparently the cults are saying it's good, the witches are saying it's bad, and no one's quite sure what may be going on, but they do note that ridiculous runs of extraordinary bad luck have claimed three lives and landed 24 people in the hospital as of this newscast. Officials in the City request that people walk slowly, avoid all sharp objects if possible, and watch any and all electrical outlets while devices are in use.
Over in Sorcery, the turn in weather has brought out the witchmoss for the season. For those unfamiliar, somehow, this psychoresponsive material reacts to strong emotions and fertile imaginations. As a result, thinking too hard about something could bring it to life before your eyes. Fall asleep near some and your nightmares very literally become reality. So keep a watch out if you're in Sorcery. No one wants a repeat of the flamingo incident.
No one.
[ ...that was an audible shudder ] Hurrahs! is hosting a Ladies' Week. If you're in the mood for alcohol and happen to be a lady, drinks are half off at Hurrahs! And clearly, this has nothing to do with the owner's recent breakup, which you definitely didn't hear about from me.
Adventure is apparently still quiet, but, uh... there may be portents? There's something here about birds acting oddly and strange circles of dead plantlife within the jungle. There's even one report here saying that a pack of rabid wolves have been seen behaving strangely near what they're saying is the Temple of the Faceless. Our correspondent on Amazonia would usually have an update on this, but she's apparently just giving us a 'no comment' so... take that for what it is.
Last, but certainly not least, there's apparently been a rash of Romantic Autocorrect Incidents over in Romance. Droves of citizens in the City have reported their communication devices 'assisting' them in their romantic pursuits... and the not so romantic ones. So if you're going to be traveling through Romance, make sure you're absolutely sure about your romantic and or erotic intentions in any message you send or you might be more sincere than you intended...
So, uh, on that note? This is WSFC. Signing off for the night and leaving you to the dulcet and slightly cynical tones of Billy Joel...
Hello, listeners. This is [ static ] here with WSFC News, broadcasting from [ yawn ] the Satellite. If it's happening, WSFC is... probably there? I mean, we try but have you seen this place? It's HUGE.
Plans for the St. Vidicon STEM fair continue, of course, but according to this, there's been a couple of incidents near the school. More specifically, some gasses appear to be leaking out of one of the buildings. Reports note that anyone who breathes in these fumes seem to be gaining strange and interesting abilities for roughly an hour. The reporter noted that the pink one smells like strawberry and then turned into a ficus plant so... take that with a grain of salt.
A minor war has broken out in Shadows over the last few nights. The gang members don't appear to be engaging in vandalism or theft, but more than a few innocents have been caught in the cross fire. Authorities in Shadows are currently attempting to mediate the dispute, but they caution people from traveling alone through the City. Then again, it's Shadows. Who's that stupid anyway?
Apparently the stars have aligned in Nightmare which is... good? Bad? Apparently the cults are saying it's good, the witches are saying it's bad, and no one's quite sure what may be going on, but they do note that ridiculous runs of extraordinary bad luck have claimed three lives and landed 24 people in the hospital as of this newscast. Officials in the City request that people walk slowly, avoid all sharp objects if possible, and watch any and all electrical outlets while devices are in use.
Over in Sorcery, the turn in weather has brought out the witchmoss for the season. For those unfamiliar, somehow, this psychoresponsive material reacts to strong emotions and fertile imaginations. As a result, thinking too hard about something could bring it to life before your eyes. Fall asleep near some and your nightmares very literally become reality. So keep a watch out if you're in Sorcery. No one wants a repeat of the flamingo incident.
No one.
[ ...that was an audible shudder ] Hurrahs! is hosting a Ladies' Week. If you're in the mood for alcohol and happen to be a lady, drinks are half off at Hurrahs! And clearly, this has nothing to do with the owner's recent breakup, which you definitely didn't hear about from me.
Adventure is apparently still quiet, but, uh... there may be portents? There's something here about birds acting oddly and strange circles of dead plantlife within the jungle. There's even one report here saying that a pack of rabid wolves have been seen behaving strangely near what they're saying is the Temple of the Faceless. Our correspondent on Amazonia would usually have an update on this, but she's apparently just giving us a 'no comment' so... take that for what it is.
Last, but certainly not least, there's apparently been a rash of Romantic Autocorrect Incidents over in Romance. Droves of citizens in the City have reported their communication devices 'assisting' them in their romantic pursuits... and the not so romantic ones. So if you're going to be traveling through Romance, make sure you're absolutely sure about your romantic and or erotic intentions in any message you send or you might be more sincere than you intended...
So, uh, on that note? This is WSFC. Signing off for the night and leaving you to the dulcet and slightly cynical tones of Billy Joel...