one 🌹 audio | un: audacious

[mandatum]

--ll I'm saying is, this place is the pits.

[This more or less out of nowhere. A very loud statement bursting through the devices along with a cacophonous burst of Bar Sounds™. Someone is audibly quaffing. Some other people are banging what are presumably pints, or possibly horns, of ale on the table in rhythm. There is a folk song somewhere in the background about a maid who came a-wandering.]

[Audrey sounds disgusted.]

You can't just drip beer down your beard and never wash it. No, I can tell you never wash your beard, buddy. I can tell it, I can smell it, I can see last week's lunch in it. Don't play games with me. You didn't even skin that lion right. I know all about skinning. I live at a lodge. No, don't--don't start picking bacon out of it! Go home and shower. Go. Get out. And leave me your beer.

[There's relative silence for a moment (the folk song continuing on in the background, because nothing stops a folk song), then a grumble and retreating footsteps. A loud, put-upon sigh.]

There's blood on this floor. Cripes. I thought home was bad--wait, did I turn this--

[. . . which appears to be all.]

Comments

text; UN: galeas

[fivenareff]

The good news is, at least it's not the only bar in these cities. There's plenty of places to get drunk that are comparatively more silent.

Unless you enjoyed the singing and blood and poor hygiene were your only objection. There, I can't help you. That's rather a staple of bars.

voice → text | un: audacious

[mandatum]

Oh, wow, that was not singing. You're hurting singing's feelings. How come I ended up here instead of in the good bars?

[Well, it could've been the Corvid, though. Could've been worse.]

How do I switch it to tthtthtntnnmtmasdf434$$?? oh

Neat.

[fivenareff]

Isn't it?

As far as I know, you land randomly, but I've only been here a short while. I showed up in Romance, and frankly, that was the best-case scenario.

[mandatum]

There's a place here called Romance? Why didn't I land there? That's rude.

[like What the Fuck]

[fivenareff]

There's nothing stopping you from coming here now, if you'd like. You're free to visit all the cities.

[mandatum]

Well YEAH but I should've been put in the GOOD one to start with.

[fivenareff]

Write to the management.

On the other hand, you're getting drunk far faster than I did when I first got here. You might count that as a win.

So where's home, that it looks so rosy compared to this?