one 🌹 audio | un: audacious

[mandatum]

--ll I'm saying is, this place is the pits.

[This more or less out of nowhere. A very loud statement bursting through the devices along with a cacophonous burst of Bar Sounds™. Someone is audibly quaffing. Some other people are banging what are presumably pints, or possibly horns, of ale on the table in rhythm. There is a folk song somewhere in the background about a maid who came a-wandering.]

[Audrey sounds disgusted.]

You can't just drip beer down your beard and never wash it. No, I can tell you never wash your beard, buddy. I can tell it, I can smell it, I can see last week's lunch in it. Don't play games with me. You didn't even skin that lion right. I know all about skinning. I live at a lodge. No, don't--don't start picking bacon out of it! Go home and shower. Go. Get out. And leave me your beer.

[There's relative silence for a moment (the folk song continuing on in the background, because nothing stops a folk song), then a grumble and retreating footsteps. A loud, put-upon sigh.]

There's blood on this floor. Cripes. I thought home was bad--wait, did I turn this--

[. . . which appears to be all.]

Comments

text; UN: galeas

[fivenareff]

The good news is, at least it's not the only bar in these cities. There's plenty of places to get drunk that are comparatively more silent.

Unless you enjoyed the singing and blood and poor hygiene were your only objection. There, I can't help you. That's rather a staple of bars.

voice → text | un: audacious

[mandatum]

Oh, wow, that was not singing. You're hurting singing's feelings. How come I ended up here instead of in the good bars?

[Well, it could've been the Corvid, though. Could've been worse.]

How do I switch it to tthtthtntnnmtmasdf434$$?? oh

Neat.

[fivenareff]

Isn't it?

As far as I know, you land randomly, but I've only been here a short while. I showed up in Romance, and frankly, that was the best-case scenario.

[mandatum]

There's a place here called Romance? Why didn't I land there? That's rude.

[like What the Fuck]

[fivenareff]

There's nothing stopping you from coming here now, if you'd like. You're free to visit all the cities.

[mandatum]

Well YEAH but I should've been put in the GOOD one to start with.

[fivenareff]

Write to the management.

On the other hand, you're getting drunk far faster than I did when I first got here. You might count that as a win.

So where's home, that it looks so rosy compared to this?

text • un: themeddler

[roberteo]

I think you might simply need to adjust to the natural charm of this establishment!

[mandatum]

Charm?

[Wait, no, everyone's using the typewriter guy. Computer. Thingy. Words. Yes. Okay, switching.]

It's not charming. It's smelly. Not the same. Only one of the same letters.

[roberteo]

It's rather homey, honestly! Or...no, perhaps I'm thinking of another location, but this one can't be all that bad!

[mandatum]

There's a guy here who just got his whole head stuck in his. You know. Flagon.

[roberteo]

If you've gone there to drink, then drink. There's no use found in complaining!

[mandatum]

i mostly went to see what everyone inside was yelling about.

I am drinking, though. Since he just left without his drink for some reason, it was so strange. I think someone might be about to start a fight.

[roberteo]

My goodness! Perhaps you should leave, then!

un: xx_dEsPa1R_xx

[disjunct]

Ooh, we know this one! A young lady walks into Ye olde Tavern!

[ Having a username as old and outdated and embarrassing as this... it fills Junko with cringeworthy regret. So good. ]

The wood beneath you creaks with a decrepit, sodden ache, as though worn down over the years by numerous thugs and bandits treading your steps. The barman looks at you with a wary gaze-- as if to say 'You're on your own here, girly!' The smell is positively horrific, the rotfilth stench of meat, blood, and alcohol mixing together in stains on the floor, making it a dead ringer for an ill-kept mortuary with the poorly-stuffed carcasses on the wall. No matter how you slice it, this place is the pits, and yet people are still drinking and still making merry with the miserable despair in front of them...

What do you do?

un: pythias

[malignans]

You sound a little outside of your element.

[audio; un: ghostprince / severely backdated, Iiii had work and travelling and things]

[shootaro]

Are you alright?! [Boy, his voice sure went high in panic.]

Miss?!

[That sounded like those calls the police get! Did she get attacked or killed or something?!]