CALL Network | Text | UN: alnnahs

[alkhimia2i]

[Being holed up in a safehouse as she is, Ana is a little short on stimulating conversation. As much as she might want to resist engaging in this strange magical cellphone, she doesn't hold out for too long. After all, from what she can tell, these people have no idea who she is.

What she posts comes in two pieces, the first a series of lines in Arabic text followed by a helpful translation in English. The second piece is commentary.]

ﺃﺩﻣﻨﺖ ﺍﺣﺰﺍﻧﻲ
ﻓﺼﺮﺕ ﺍﺧﺎﻑ ﺍﻥ ﻻ ﺍﺣﺰﻧﺎ
ﻭﻃﻌﻨﺖ ﺁﻻﻓﺎ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﻤﺮﺍﺕ
ﺣﺘﻰ ﺻﺎﺭ ﻳﻮﺟﻌﻨﻲ ﺑﺎﻥ ﻻ ﺍﻃﻌﻨﺎ
ﻭﻟﻌﻨﺖ ﻓﻲ ﻛﻞ ﺍﻟﻠﻐﺎﺕ
ﺣﺘﻰ ﺻﺎﺭ ﻳﻘﻠﻘﻨﻲ ﺑﺎﻥ ﻻ ﺍﻟﻌﻨﺎ
ﻭﻟﻘﺪ ﺗﺸﺎﺑﻬﺖ ﻛﻞ ﺍﻟﺒﻼﺩ
ﻓﻼ ﺍﺭﻯ ﻧﻔﺴﻲ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ، ﻭﻻ ﺍﺭﻯ ﻧﻔﺴﻲ ﻫﻨﺎ

I was addicted to my sorrows,
Until I became scared of not being sorrowful.
And I was stabbed thousands of times,
Until it felt painful not to be stabbed.
And I was cursed in all the languages,
Until I became nervous of not being cursed.
And all the countries seemed the same,
in that I neither see myself there, nor do I see myself here.


I came across this while reading, so I thought I might share it. No particular reason, except than I found it to be moving. I wouldn't mind hearing your opinions.

Comments

[caduceusoncall]

It's no trouble at all, alnnahs, someone has to keep him in place. I know (knew? Time is so strange here) him personally. We nicknamed him "Trouble" back in the Overwatch day.

Be thankful you never had to deal with his shenanigans!

[alkhimia2i]

That they are.

But what would you consider to be truly beautiful things?

[alkhimia2i]

[The irony is strong and tinted with a bit of sadness.]

Did you? He must be a handful.

It's a shame that I will have to deal with him now.

[caduceusoncall]

Oh no, you aren't still using that awful old revolver are you? I'd prefer you didn't go around waving ANY guns but that one is a danger to you AND others.

One day that ancient relic is going to misfire while you're showing off with that silly spinning trick and you're going to shoot yourself in the foot.

[jinglejangle]

What can I say? It was just the way I was raised.

[If Reyes was here, he'd probably get smacked upside the head for trying to throw his commander under the bus. But, well...

He's gone, now.]

Now why am I not surprised you're on the HERO network? But I'll keep that in mind for the next time someone wants to talk about artsy-fartsy shit again.

[jinglejangle]

Don't be mean, Peacemaker is a fine gun that's lasted me for years now. I'm probably gonna break before it does.

[caduceusoncall]

Oh come on, Gabriel tried his best to teach you SOME manners, don't tell me you've forgotten his lessons already?

How is Gabe, do you know? I haven't heard from him since. Well, you know.

[Angela smiled, remembering her coworker fondly. He had been out of sorts and irritable towards the end, even going so far as to fight publically with Jack. But he was a good man. She was sure he wasn't going to give up on Overwatch's ideals. It would be nice to visit him if she could.]

[caduceusoncall]

If you insist. If you come hobbling to me to fix that inevitable bullet-riddled foot, you won't get the free treatment. It's a 200$ fee for foolishness you know.

[jinglejangle]

Don't go putting words in my mouth. I'm a one pistol at a time sort of man.

Most of the time, anyways.

[imagine some finger pistols here]

Sides, there's no teams here. It's just you and me.

Well, and the Doc, but she just kinda likes to keep a watch over things.

[nice and subtle, mccree.]

[alkhimia2i]

[Is he...? He is. That was most certainly McCree tossing an innuendo her way. Part of her wants to laugh. The other part wants to gently remove his CALL device from his hands. She never had a son by any official means, but if she had--he would be the closest thing to that.

She's a little embarrassed for him. And a little ashamed of how inherently dishonest this conversation is.]

That sounds terribly unwieldy.

[And that's really all she has to say on that.]

It's only an expression--and even if it wasn't, there's a large number of other users with access to this network, you know. Not just you and me.

But it's nice to hear that your friend has your back. She mentioned that the two of you know each other personally.

[She sees what you did there, McCree. She's not that easy to slip up.]

[jinglejangle]

Maybe if y'ain't used to it.

[If he was a man with shame, this would be the start where he reconsiders what he's saying. But Jesse McCree is not a man who knows when to stop.]

But how many of them don't want to talk about poetry, neither? Maybe we're doing everyone a service by stopping this shit.

The Doc and I go way back, but I ain't sure how common that is in a place like this.

[alkhimia2i]

[She's not touching that one... Maybe if she ignores it, he'll stop.]

If they didn't want to talk about poetry, I imagine they didn't respond.

[You know, like normal people, McCree.]

I wouldn't know how common it is to find someone familiar around here. Are there others that you recognize? Or is it only your Doctor friend?

[jinglejangle]

[It's enough to get him to stop...

For now.]

So the lack of people crawling out of the woodwork means I'm right, right?


Haven't had access to none of this shit for very long, so I couldn't say. Maybe not all of these strangers are strangers, but nobody else is coming to say hello. You don't got any friends here either, then?

[alkhimia2i]

Would it make you feel better if you were right?

[She's going to just keep humoring him at this rate.]

Hmm. Who knows? If I have any friends around, they haven't found me yet. Perhaps that will change in the future.

[caduceusoncall]

Reality is whatever you work to make it be. If the reality of our pain is that it is all-consuming and drains us of our strength, we have two options: We can allow it to continue to trap and drain us, or we can turn that pain into fuel for change.

If reality has crippled you, it is your choice and arguably your responsibility to live on despite it.

[Angela is deeply set in this opinion. It kept her alive, made her into what she is today, saved countless lives. She wants to add that "the living cannot be held up by the dead", but fears that is projecting her own situation onto the discussion.]

[alkhimia2i]

Reality is what it is, Doctor. A broken leg does not heal simply because we will it to. Even less so when the will is absent altogether.

But you sound like a strong-minded individual. It makes me glad to hear someone so devoted to their beliefs.

[caduceusoncall]

[Mercy laughs as she reads the message. "A strong-minded individual" indeed.]

I've always been of the opinion that reality is something to be argued with!

As for broken legs: "Will" is not an inert force. If you are willing your leg to heal, you are taking action to make it so. You are seeking help, reaching out, and following up if you are truly willing to heal. You can choose to make the healing process your reality. Anything else is "wishing".

And if you are not willing, then the question becomes "when will you be". You can live in pain and limp about, get an infection or, depending on the type injury, die of shock or blood loss. You can choose that reality, too.

[She hesitates, fingers hovering over the keys, lips pursed tight in thought.]

Forgive me for being so forward, but it sounds as if you have resigned yourself to a very unpleasant reality. If I'm wrong, I apologize for saying so and you are free to disregard me entirely. But if you find the will to make for yourself a new, more pleasant reality, you are free to visit me and discuss the matter. I'm not sure how directly I can help but I can certainly try.

You can find me in the Outpost, in Adventure. Simply ask for Doctor Ziegler. I would offer to meet up somewhere but this sort of thing is something you have to seek in your own time.

[alkhimia2i]

My apologies for giving you that impression, Doctor. I thought we were still discussing poetry and hypotheticals, albeit in a roundabout manner.

I can promise that I'm not in any distress that needs your attention. But if I do find myself in need of your help, I'll be certain to contact you.

[jinglejangle]

[Oh.

This isn't right. This is very, very wrong. Why would Angela bring up a dead man like this - like he wasn't dead at all? And it's been years, since.

A cold feeling settles into the pit of McCree's stomach, and he doesn't. He doesn't understand.]

You mean you haven't seen him since he got blown to hell in Switzerland?

[jinglejangle]

That seems mighty steep. Y'sure there ain't some sort of discounts for friends?

[jinglejangle]

Don't most folks like this?

[By this point McCree has realized he's just being humored, but...Eh. No harm, no foul.]

Well on account of you being so mysterious you probably won't find any anytime soon. Though I'm sure someone'll come crawling outta the woodwork when you least expect it.

[alkhimia2i]

Am I being mysterious? I wasn't trying to be.

Or are you still sore about the poetry? I've never known someone to find art so nefarious.

[jinglejangle]

The fact you keep talking all roundabout kinda means yeah, you're at the very least suspicious.

[At least if you're paranoid.]

It's a waste of time that people with more money and sense think is more important than anything else, like honest work.

[alkhimia2i]

Couldn't I also be interested in honest work? One does not mean discarding the other.

[jinglejangle]

You'd be one of the first I met who values both.

[yes he is being Stubborn]