un: smallvilleguy | text | CALL network

[american_alien]

So I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I worked really hard to get to where I am and what I'm doing but...

After talking to people, talking to lots of people from all over, I'm not so sure anymore. I think I might have been thinking too small, but it feels weird to think of it like that. Like I'm limited MYSELF, if that makes any sense. I mean, it's not like we have a lot of money and I worked really hard to get the scholarships to get here in the first place.

But I'm not sure if I'm just letting this trip run away with me or if I'm finally seeing more clearly now that I've actually gone out and seen just how big the world is.

Thoughts?

Comments

[alkhimia2i]

It is an admirable goal. The world could always use more of those that are willing to keep it safe.

But perhaps you should ask yourself, is that what you truly want? And why? Is it simply because you have the power to do so? Or is there something more to this desire?

[american_alien]

It is what I want. And I guess it's not just because I have the power to do so. It's because I know that people could use the help. And I could be that help.

Lemme put it like this.

Let's say I have... a tool. It's a super amazing tool. It can do all kinds of stuff. I was just going to have it help fix up cars around my neighborhood. But then I won this trip around the world and I see how many places and people could use this tool.

Now, I know that there's people who'll look at it like, maybe, a weapon. And others who aren't going to trust that this weird looking thing could help. There's probably going to be folks who'll want to use it for bad things. And I'm going to have to deal with that.

But I can't unsee the people out there who could use the help.

[caduceusoncall]

Sorry to interject, but what you just said is something I have struggled with for a long time. I built tools much like you described, under the assurance they would never be made into weapons. Blatant lies, but I knew that to a degree, I just wanted to believe they truly meant well.

I can't tell you whether or not your decisions or usage of your tools are correct, I don't know the situation. But I have learned something that I hope can help you now: If your tools save more lives than they take, it's a matter of deciding whether or not that's a sacrifice you are willing to make.

To answer that question, sometimes you have to ask your soul, not just your mind.

[american_alien]

Oh. Hey.

No, it's cool. At least, it's cool for me. And I appreciate the advice. I

Have the advantage of knowing that I'll always be able to choose how they're used. But it's not like I'm perfect either, you know? And it could do a lot of harm if I make the wrong decision.

But that doesn't change anything you said.

It's either go big... or stay home.

[alkhimia2i]

I understand.

Like I said, it's an admirable goal. If helping those people is what you believe in, then I think you already know what your decision should be.

My only advice is to take care. Know your limits. Being in a position to help others means knowing how much you can truly offer. If you need to step back, you should do it; before the situation forces you to.

[american_alien]

Yeah, I learned that one first hand, unfortunately.

I guess that's really the question, in a way. SHOULD I play it safe and maybe not feel like I'm living up to my potential but still

Safe

Or should I try and do everything I can and it might blow up in my face. Literally.




Ugh why are things hard?

[alkhimia2i]

All of the important choices are, unfortunately. They're also ones that you have to make yourself. I can't give you the right answer. No one can.

All I can say is to trust your heart. It knows what's best for you.

[american_alien]

I want to help. I want to help the MOST I can help. Because the world doesn't change for 50% effort and there's a lot of ways the world SHOULD change.

I just need to learn how to do it without making it worse. And I don't even know where to start.

[alkhimia2i]

[There's a long delay in her response this time, if only because she's struggling with how she wants to respond.]

Well, you can start by not working alone. Having someone to watch you back is important when learning the ropes. If you make a mistake, they can catch it.

From there... Decision-making. Instincts. Courage. There are many aspects to being a hero. Not all of them are learned, but practice helps.

[american_alien]

I don't know about anyone like me. Anyone who can do what I do. There's maybe a few people in the SFC but that's about it.

No one I've managed to find back home, anyway.

Though I didn't say I wanted to be a hero or anything. I just want to help.

[alkhimia2i]

Sorry. I assumed that someone committed to helping others at their own risk would be considered a hero.

There aren't many people like me, either. That doesn't matter much. I'm used to working with all kinds. If you need someone to watch your back, I can be here.

[american_alien]

I guess I'd think of someone that way if I was talking about them. For me, it just feels weird.

Used to working with all kinds?

Would you

I mean

If this doesn't sound totally bonkers or anything

And I'm assuming since you're talking about like, having my back and courage and decision making that you have some experience but

...have anything you think you can pass on?

[alkhimia2i]

I wouldn't offer if I didn't think I did.

Is there some place we can take this that's more private?

[Not that she has anything to hide. Just... people to avoid.]

[american_alien]

Sure. Do you know how to get to the Seven Fold City already?

There's a good diner in the City of Tomorrow that we can meet at.

[alkhimia2i]

I haven't made the trip yet, no. I've gathered that it has something to do with this Transport feature?

[Someone spent a lot of time looking over old posts before actually involving herself in the network.]

[american_alien]

Pretty much. It'll put you out not far from the diner, right in the front of the McAran building.

There's info on the SFC Maps app if you want more.

[alkhimia2i]

I should be able to find it. Thanks for your help. I'll meet you there soon.

((Mind if I make a log for this?))

[american_alien]

[ ooc: Please do! ]

See you soon.

And thanks.