calling_net | un: smallvilleguy | text

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un: smallvilleguy | text | CALL network

So I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I worked really hard to get to where I am and what I'm doing but...

After talking to people, talking to lots of people from all over, I'm not so sure anymore. I think I might have been thinking too small, but it feels weird to think of it like that. Like I'm limited MYSELF, if that makes any sense. I mean, it's not like we have a lot of money and I worked really hard to get the scholarships to get here in the first place.

But I'm not sure if I'm just letting this trip run away with me or if I'm finally seeing more clearly now that I've actually gone out and seen just how big the world is.

Thoughts?

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Yeah, um. Not sure how familiar you are with this thing but there aren't a lot of 'typical' people on this network.

I just found the device, so I'm still kind of new.

I'm Caroline by the way.

Cool. I'm Clark. Nice to meet you, Caroline.

And by weird, I mean...

I can do a bunch of stuff that most people can't do.

Like fly.

That doesn't sound like a bad thing.

It's not a bad thing. But it makes me feel

I dunno

Responsible?

But that's

That makes it sound like something I don't want to do. When it's more like I look out at the world and think 'this stuff needs doing and I'm angry that it isn't getting done but maybe I can do it and it'll be better for everyone but what if I screw up?'

Then you take a step back and try again. Everyone makes mistakes and screws up sometimes. It's part of life, and I've done more than my share.

And really, doing what you can is never a bad thing if it's meant to help people.

It totally can be. I actually have pretty concrete proof of that from a few years back.

Flying doesn't sound too bad but I can also punch straight through a tractor. Like all the way. Not a scratch on me and that thing is totalled.

And that means that if I screw up really bad, someone could die.

There's no fixing that.

Yeah, that's always a risk, honestly. But if you do nothing, they might die anyway. At least knowing you tried, that someone tried, is something more than knowing there's no chance, right?

And no, there's no fixing it but you might do things differently the next time.

That's actually why I'm asking this question.

The last time, I just dove in. And no one got hurt because of it, but it still wasn't spectacular.

Nobody getting hurt is the important part though right? I mean, doing anything well takes practice. Nobody's perfect right out of the gate.

Correction: I got shot in the face with a shotgun and my mother was livid. The sheriff was Disappointed in me, which is awful too.

Also I accidentally burned a man's arms off. He was a murderer, but he's still someone.

But no one DIED.

Like I said: not great.

Mothers tend to be like that.

...How did you accidentally burn someone's arms off?

He shot me in the face with a shotgun.

I got angry enough that I discovered something new I could do.

...which involves

Fire

Or really just heat.

And I was staring right at him at the time.

And then there were no arms. Which is me putting it super simply because I cannot even tell you how horrified I was, am, and continue to be.

...So you don't have control of it. You didn't do it intentionally and you're not going to do it again so the best way to ensure that is learning to use it properly, isn't it?

I didn't have control of it. I do now. Not that I didn't almost burn down the barn a few times.

But that doesn't give that man back his arms.

No it doesn't.

But it also means you won't make the same mistake again. It's not balanced by any means, but you can't let your mistakes keep you from continuing to try.

But I could just be a veterinarian.

No loss of limbs. No danger of hurting anyone. I can use my brain and help plenty of helpless creatures.

But lots of people can be veterinarians. And there are dangerous things to do in the world that I could do without fear.

You could, and you could save lots of animals, but can you really live with the fact you have the ability to help people and do nothing? I meam. you may not succeed every time, but the time you do succeed, who knows how many lives you'll be able to save?

Yes, you may hurt people or not be able to save everyone. That's a given and something every hero faces. Do you think cops and firefighters don't deal with the same question, but they still go on and do their jobs and do what they can within their own limitations.

Hero, huh?

I don't know if I'm cut out to be a hero.

And I don't know. Now, I don't think so.

And you know the best heroes are the ones who aren't trying to be a hero. They're just doing whatever they can.

You'll never know unless you try, right?

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un: smallvilleguy | text | CALL network

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