un: smallvilleguy | text | CALL network

[american_alien]

So I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I worked really hard to get to where I am and what I'm doing but...

After talking to people, talking to lots of people from all over, I'm not so sure anymore. I think I might have been thinking too small, but it feels weird to think of it like that. Like I'm limited MYSELF, if that makes any sense. I mean, it's not like we have a lot of money and I worked really hard to get the scholarships to get here in the first place.

But I'm not sure if I'm just letting this trip run away with me or if I'm finally seeing more clearly now that I've actually gone out and seen just how big the world is.

Thoughts?

Comments

[american_alien]

Well, how many traveling veterinarians do you know? And I don't mean the kind who go out in a van and do their work. I mean... world-traveling?

Though if you want to talk about it, I don't have much to do. My assignments are done for the night.

[insistent]

You'd probably need to be licensed all over the world, which could get pretty pricey. So you're not planning to settle down somewhere in particular?

It's a bit too involved to get into with someone I just started talking to.

[american_alien]

That's cool. I just felt bad talking about my problems without giving you the chance to talk about your stuff.

And I guess I'm going to settle somewhere, but I need to figure out something so I can travel. And not like, twice a year travel.

[insistent]

Well, centrally located to the most likely places you're going to end up traveling to might be good. I don't know how strict the regulations for veterinarians are, but you can probably research that.

[american_alien]

I'm pretty sure the closest thing to 'centrally located' to everywhere is like

Metropolis.

[insistent]

So why not pursue a career there? I mean I'm sure they have plenty of animals in the city.

[american_alien]

That was my first idea.

But then we get to the second part which is

I'm not really sure if being a veterinarian is going to make me happy.

[insistent]

So what do you think will make you happy? Because honestly, your parents will probably be fine with it if it's just something about changing your major.

[american_alien]

Which is where I either say 'it's hard to explain' or I start going into some pretty weird stuff.

I'm not worried about my parents. They're going to love and support me no matter what I do.

But if I explain, promise not to get weird about it?

[insistent]

I'm used to weird.

private

[american_alien]

How weird?

There's another guy on here who hunts demons and stuff. That kind of weird?

Re: private

[insistent]

Well, I haven't come across any demons, but let's just say my views on the world aren't quite on track with the typical person's anymore.

[american_alien]

Yeah, um. Not sure how familiar you are with this thing but there aren't a lot of 'typical' people on this network.

[insistent]

I just found the device, so I'm still kind of new.

I'm Caroline by the way.

private

[american_alien]

Cool. I'm Clark. Nice to meet you, Caroline.

And by weird, I mean...

I can do a bunch of stuff that most people can't do.

Like fly.

Re: private

[insistent]

That doesn't sound like a bad thing.

Re: private

[american_alien]

It's not a bad thing. But it makes me feel

I dunno

Responsible?

But that's

That makes it sound like something I don't want to do. When it's more like I look out at the world and think 'this stuff needs doing and I'm angry that it isn't getting done but maybe I can do it and it'll be better for everyone but what if I screw up?'

Re: private

[insistent]

Then you take a step back and try again. Everyone makes mistakes and screws up sometimes. It's part of life, and I've done more than my share.

And really, doing what you can is never a bad thing if it's meant to help people.

private

[american_alien]

It totally can be. I actually have pretty concrete proof of that from a few years back.

Flying doesn't sound too bad but I can also punch straight through a tractor. Like all the way. Not a scratch on me and that thing is totalled.

And that means that if I screw up really bad, someone could die.

There's no fixing that.

Re: private

[insistent]

Yeah, that's always a risk, honestly. But if you do nothing, they might die anyway. At least knowing you tried, that someone tried, is something more than knowing there's no chance, right?

And no, there's no fixing it but you might do things differently the next time.

[american_alien]

That's actually why I'm asking this question.

The last time, I just dove in. And no one got hurt because of it, but it still wasn't spectacular.

[insistent]

Nobody getting hurt is the important part though right? I mean, doing anything well takes practice. Nobody's perfect right out of the gate.

[american_alien]

Correction: I got shot in the face with a shotgun and my mother was livid. The sheriff was Disappointed in me, which is awful too.

Also I accidentally burned a man's arms off. He was a murderer, but he's still someone.

But no one DIED.

Like I said: not great.

[insistent]

Mothers tend to be like that.

...How did you accidentally burn someone's arms off?

[american_alien]

He shot me in the face with a shotgun.

I got angry enough that I discovered something new I could do.

...which involves

Fire

Or really just heat.

And I was staring right at him at the time.

And then there were no arms. Which is me putting it super simply because I cannot even tell you how horrified I was, am, and continue to be.