CALL Network | Text | UN: alnnahs

[alkhimia2i]

[Being holed up in a safehouse as she is, Ana is a little short on stimulating conversation. As much as she might want to resist engaging in this strange magical cellphone, she doesn't hold out for too long. After all, from what she can tell, these people have no idea who she is.

What she posts comes in two pieces, the first a series of lines in Arabic text followed by a helpful translation in English. The second piece is commentary.]

ﺃﺩﻣﻨﺖ ﺍﺣﺰﺍﻧﻲ
ﻓﺼﺮﺕ ﺍﺧﺎﻑ ﺍﻥ ﻻ ﺍﺣﺰﻧﺎ
ﻭﻃﻌﻨﺖ ﺁﻻﻓﺎ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﻤﺮﺍﺕ
ﺣﺘﻰ ﺻﺎﺭ ﻳﻮﺟﻌﻨﻲ ﺑﺎﻥ ﻻ ﺍﻃﻌﻨﺎ
ﻭﻟﻌﻨﺖ ﻓﻲ ﻛﻞ ﺍﻟﻠﻐﺎﺕ
ﺣﺘﻰ ﺻﺎﺭ ﻳﻘﻠﻘﻨﻲ ﺑﺎﻥ ﻻ ﺍﻟﻌﻨﺎ
ﻭﻟﻘﺪ ﺗﺸﺎﺑﻬﺖ ﻛﻞ ﺍﻟﺒﻼﺩ
ﻓﻼ ﺍﺭﻯ ﻧﻔﺴﻲ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ، ﻭﻻ ﺍﺭﻯ ﻧﻔﺴﻲ ﻫﻨﺎ

I was addicted to my sorrows,
Until I became scared of not being sorrowful.
And I was stabbed thousands of times,
Until it felt painful not to be stabbed.
And I was cursed in all the languages,
Until I became nervous of not being cursed.
And all the countries seemed the same,
in that I neither see myself there, nor do I see myself here.


I came across this while reading, so I thought I might share it. No particular reason, except than I found it to be moving. I wouldn't mind hearing your opinions.

Comments

un: highnoon

[jinglejangle]

Words like that seem awfully fancy to share for no reason.

[no he is not suspicious why would you think that]

[alkhimia2i]

[...These usernames are going to put her in the early grave she belongs in, to be honest. If this is anyone but Jesse McCree, she'll eat her hat.]

Isn't their fanciness reason enough?

[jinglejangle]

[What, this is a totally subtle name.]

Maybe if you're some sorta pretentious joker who likes to feel good about how smart you are, but most folks I've ever known wouldn't do shit like this without a good reason.

[Not that, currently, he assumes he actually knows this person. They could just be someone entirely random he's pestering for no good reason.]

[caduceusoncall]

["Highnoon". Angela knows immediately who this user is. She's torn between excitement - it's been so long! - and anger at how immature he still is. She settles on scolding him now and greeting him later.]

Jesse McCree, unless you are looking to interrogate and "dispense justice" to the artistically minded people on this network, I would suggest watching your words.

It is a poem and a discussion about the poem, there is absolutely no reason for this vitriol.

[alkhimia2i]

It's fine. Please don't trouble yourself.

[caduceusoncall]

It's no trouble at all, alnnahs, someone has to keep him in place. I know (knew? Time is so strange here) him personally. We nicknamed him "Trouble" back in the Overwatch day.

Be thankful you never had to deal with his shenanigans!

[alkhimia2i]

[The irony is strong and tinted with a bit of sadness.]

Did you? He must be a handful.

It's a shame that I will have to deal with him now.

[jinglejangle]

[Mercy? You've gotta be kidding him. There's only so many people who would call him out like that, and nobody would have the gall to pretend to be someone else.

Or so he assumes.]

Now, Doc, I wasn't meaning to come across as harsh or nothing, I just think it's mighty odd to be spouting poetry on a network meant for bullshit like heroics and what not.

Didn't mean to start nothing.

[he is an Angel.]

[caduceusoncall]

["Mighty odd". Angela has trouble containing her laughter. Jesse McCree, the cowboy, the little troublemaker Gabe took in and mentored for all those years. He thought poetry, of all things, was "mighty odd."

Her frustration with his (quite frankly ridiculous) natural talent of starting fights and sparking animosity began to fade. "Mighty odd."]

Jesse McCree you are still atrocious when it comes to behaving in public. What have I told you about being so confrontational, Trouble?

["Trouble." That's what she used to call him every time he walked into her office, nose broken or eye blackened, Gabriel tailing behind him completely exasperated. Jesse McCree. Trouble.]


And besides that, this is the public network, not the HERO network. I've seen less engaging entries than an open poetry discussion. I never thought I'd be telling YOU of all people to lighten up!

[jinglejangle]

What can I say? It was just the way I was raised.

[If Reyes was here, he'd probably get smacked upside the head for trying to throw his commander under the bus. But, well...

He's gone, now.]

Now why am I not surprised you're on the HERO network? But I'll keep that in mind for the next time someone wants to talk about artsy-fartsy shit again.

[caduceusoncall]

Oh come on, Gabriel tried his best to teach you SOME manners, don't tell me you've forgotten his lessons already?

How is Gabe, do you know? I haven't heard from him since. Well, you know.

[Angela smiled, remembering her coworker fondly. He had been out of sorts and irritable towards the end, even going so far as to fight publically with Jack. But he was a good man. She was sure he wasn't going to give up on Overwatch's ideals. It would be nice to visit him if she could.]

[jinglejangle]

[Oh.

This isn't right. This is very, very wrong. Why would Angela bring up a dead man like this - like he wasn't dead at all? And it's been years, since.

A cold feeling settles into the pit of McCree's stomach, and he doesn't. He doesn't understand.]

You mean you haven't seen him since he got blown to hell in Switzerland?

[caduceusoncall]

[Angela stares at the text for a long time. She re-reads each word, trying to process the information. Blown to hell.

Maybe it doesn't mean what she thinks it means. Maybe McCree just chose poor phrasing. Maybe...]

What do you mean by "blown to hell"? What happened in Switzerland? Is he okay, is he hurt?

[jinglejangle]

Can't get really more explicit than that. He was at the base, the base got blown up. Don't know why or who did it, I was already gone at the time.

It was on the news. Don't know how you could've missed it.

[caduceusoncall]

The last thing I saw on the news was the official announcement that Overwatch was permanently disbanding and that further activities are considered illegal. That was the day I got my CALL device.

Is...is he...? Was anyone else hurt?

[She can't say it. She can't type it. The word catches in her throat and her fingers curl into fists when she tries to type it.

Is he dead. Is he dead? No, he can't be. Heroes never die. Heroes never, ever die. Not her friends. Not Gabriel Reyes. No no no n-]

[alkhimia2i]

Fair enough. You've found me out.

Now my underhanded plot to force anonymous strangers into discussing fine literature will be foiled. Shall I hold my hands up in surrender?

[She just barely refrains from typing "sheriff" at the end of her message.]

[jinglejangle]

[...He's pretty sure they're joking, which is all in all a Good Sign as far as he's concerned.]

Nice to see my gut paid off.

Nah, I think something more fitting as far as punishments go would be to just talk about the finer points of something less pretentious. A holovid or some shit like that.

[like cowboys! cowboys are way better than lame poetry]

[alkhimia2i]

A holovid?

If you're going to shoot down my pretentious ideas, you should have a clear substitution in mind.

[jinglejangle]

Don't tell me you're from a place without holographic technology.

[He still has nightmares of the time Reinhardt talked at him about the DVD days. Why did he like David Hasselhoff so much? The 1980s were still like thirty years before his time.]

Sides, can't really offer suggestions if I don't know what you know. Alls I can say is poetry is a bore.

[alkhimia2i]

Huh.

I guess we're at an impasse, then. Poetry or nothing. Unless you want to take a gamble with those suggestions?

[jinglejangle]

That's a damned shame.

Are you trying to turn this on me now? Try to make me out to be some sorta smart guy spouting nonsense just to hear himself talk?

Or see himself type, as it is right now.

[alkhimia2i]

Is that what I'm doing?

And I thought I was being generous by letting you pick a less boring topic.

[jinglejangle]

Might be.

Well if you want a less boring topic, you might be better off asking someone else. There's two things in this world I'm an expert on, and I don't fancy someone who thinks poetry is a great conversation would be too keen to talk about guns.

[alkhimia2i]

Two things? And they're both guns?

I guess if I have to suffer through that conversation, I will take that bullet for the team.

[caduceusoncall]

Oh no, you aren't still using that awful old revolver are you? I'd prefer you didn't go around waving ANY guns but that one is a danger to you AND others.

One day that ancient relic is going to misfire while you're showing off with that silly spinning trick and you're going to shoot yourself in the foot.